And what have I done with my teen years? What impact have I made? What have I done?
Well in the last year alone I have been out of the country twice on missions trips. I have been a youth leader for starting on three years now. I have kept friends, made friends, lost friends, and became closer with friends. I have gotten out of my prissy little bubble of perfection. I have screwed up, fallen down, fallen over, fallen flat on my face, fallen on my butt in the mud. But I have also got back up, every time. I have stood on my feet every time I have fallen down. I have been through hell but I made it my heaven. I have made a mess of myself, then learned to love it. I have fallen in love with God, time and time again...and fallen out of love with Him...only to fall back into His arms again. I have discovered His love, constant, pure, reliable. I have found His grace both for myself and for others. I have made so many mistakes, but I have learned my lessons. I know what it is to be at rock bottom and I know what it is to be on cloud nine. I know pain and I know joy.
I have found the journey to finding myself.
I am no where close to finding me entirely yet. But I do know that what I have found is pretty darn fantastic. I have scars, but they are healing. My heart was broken but it wasn't in the shape that I wanted it to be anyways. Now it looks like a cracked masterpiece again.
I am no where near where I wanted to be once I turned 20. But I am further than I thought I would be when I turned 18.
But most important thing about my teen years, I have found my wings. I have found what it means to fly. And while I fell out of the nest often, I tried again and again to fly... Now I am flying...
For my birthday all of my siblings wrote me a letter... My brother wrote the most touching letter...
Now my brother is a sweetheart down to his very core, but he doesn't really say a lot about deep stuff or life in general. I mean, he is 14, kind of expected.
But my brother told me that I always follow after God no matter what life brings.
That touched my heart. Mostly because I don't advertise about my life or my relationship with God. It isn't something that I wear on my sleeve. I don't usually burden my siblings with what life is throwing at me either.
But you don't have to scream God at everyone for them to see it. You don't have to throw your life at people to be noticed. You make an impact with what you do more than what you say. Live your life. Be yourself. You will leave a mark behind.
Love,
Kiki
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