How do I do this?

The wedding is two weeks away...

...and I am a wreck.

Today is my last day at work and honestly I don't know if I can do this.

Today as I was hugging a coworker goodbye, I started crying...and she told me to stop cause she would see me at my wedding, that it wasn't goodbye yet.

But what happens when it is goodbye for good?

How do I move on from there?

To be honest, I am terrified. Terrified that I will be forgotten because people have busy lives and if you aren't apart of them everyday, you can get left on the side of the highway.

People move on. The holes that you leave behind have to be filled. No one can keep a place for you forever.

And I am not moving back to Colorado.

I am going to be that person who moved away and made new friends, and then moved again and did it all over again...and again...and again....

This is the life I signed up for..

But it doesn't make goodbye any easier.

I am sitting at my desk crying my eyes out.

I have never worked anywhere else but this campus. I love it hear. I love the people, I love the atmosphere.

Yes, I am so ready to be done working here, but I am also excited to start somewhere new.

I try to be positive and look at the bright side...but today there is no sunshine. There is only goodbyes.

And I hate goodbyes.

I hate the finality of saying goodbye. I hate the word. I am not good with my words when it comes to my final things to say to someone.

I am a wreck.

And I still have two weeks.

What if people forget me? What if we don't keep in touch? What if I lose everyone that I am close to?

Long distance relationships are hard and I don't know if people are going to have the time to keep up with the work they create.

And honestly, it scares every inch of my being.

Anyone who says that I shouldn't be doing this because I am scared and cry all the time though needs to shove it up their butt. Cause I can't handle that kind of stupidity right now.

You see, once upon a time, there was this scared girl who decided that following God was better than letting fear get to her so she stepped out and did something that scared her. Guess what? It ended up being the best thing that she did in her entire life!! That was a few years ago when I went to Haiti. Conquering my fear was the best thing that I ever did.

So I will do it again.

Watch me fly.

Love, Almost A Bride