Everyone has all the same things to say...

Awww... Internet again! Finally.... Which means that I can blog again!! I haven't been able to blog for a month now due to no internet, and I have been dying!

So this is kind of cliche...blogging about the new year. It is like blogging about Thanksgiving. Everyone has all same things to say.

Here are the ten steps to make your new resolutions and stick to them.

How to make this next year your best one yet.

Tomorrow is a blank book of 365 pages, write well.
2015 holds prosperity and wealth.

When life hands you lemons, there is always a new year.

All they are saying is pretty much, hey this last year sucked and so this next one will be better.

But how long does that hype last? Until something goes wrong and your new and better year turns into hoping for a better time next year? Until you forget about your resolutions and suddenly become guilty every time you drive by your gym with your fast food still in your mouth? Or does your year only become awful after you get to the end and realize that you are no different than you were last year? All the changes you vowed to make in your life, all the goals you set, are they even existent by the time you reach December 31st?

I have always dreaded the new year. I will never get my old years back, I will never live in 1999, 2005, or 2014 again. I will never have the chance to go back. Did I make this year good enough for me? I spend the last week of the year fretting and beating myself up for everything that I did or didn't do during the year.

Well this year happens to be different. I didn't make resolutions, knowing I would just break them. I didn't set any lofty goals for myself, I didn't run out and get a gym membership. I didn't start a diet plan or a devotional book. I didn't vow to read my Bible everyday or pray for an hour every morning.

I simply was.

I was whatever I wanted and needed to be.

If I needed to be sad, I was sad.

If I needed to be angry, I let myself be angry.

If I wanted to hate someone, I let myself.

If I wanted to forgive, I did.
If I wanted to be happy and cheerful, I was happy and cheerful.

I didn't force myself into being anything other than what I wanted to be. I didn't put a box around myself. I didn't cage my heart. I didn't chain myself to the ground with who I thought that everyone else expected me to be.

The new year kind of snuck up on me this time around. Partly because I can't keep the dates straight to save my life... And partly because I wasn't looking for it.

I was just being.

No stress, no regret, no feeling of dread... Just contentment.

You see for once I didn't feel like I had to accomplish impossible feats to make my life beautiful. I didn't set goals that were so unrealistic that I would guilt myself after I didn't meet them.

And I did so much this year...

I traveled to another country and found our that I remember more Spanish than I give myself credit for.

I found out who my real friends were and kindly left the others by the wayside.

I learned to let go of pain.

I learned how to make fun of my ex's and laugh at horrible jokes.

I learned that my path in life needs to include writing.

I learned that I am free when I am honest.

I learned that struggle is far more beautiful for people to watch than faked perfection.

I learned how to trust God when the situations were impossible.

I learned that I could love deeper than I thought possible.
I learned that no matter how I felt, I was always strong enough to continue on.

I learned what oceans deep love really meant.

I learned how to check my email constantly and quiet my sorrow when I didn't hear from my love.

I learned how to let go of what people thought.
I learned how to be myself.
I learned that I might be an awful person some times, I might think awful things about people.
I also learned that those people probably deserve it.
I learned to not apologize for my feelings because they are valid and important.
I learned that money goes a lot further than you think it would.
I learned that if you let go of what you expect something to be like, you will be happier with what it ends up being for you in the end.

And I am still learning.

That is the purpose of life. To learn and to grow. To find yourself more each year and enjoy the adventure of finding more. To never stop and think for one minute that you are who you should be for the rest of your life. To let go of the box that everyone will try to put around you. To stop apologizing for who you are. If you don't like something about yourself, change it but never apologize. You are who you are in this very moment for a reason.

So live it up. Live your life without thinking about resolutions and goals so impossible that you will never reach them. Just be yourself. And if you want, be a better version of yourself. But just be. Simple resolution. Be who you are without apology and without regret. That alone will free your soul and give your wings room to stretch. Maybe by the end of next year your wings will be strong enough to fly...

Love,
Mrs. K.

(Just a little picture of me enjoying the beach for you to be jealous about.)