Welcome again to my world!
So yesterday I promised a post about Cody, but something happened last night that I would much rather talk about today.
For the next month I am going to invite you into my world of
wedding planning and craziness. Be prepared, it is a very honest and sometimes
terrifying world. It is what every almost bride wants to say but never feels
free to share. My world is a little bit of a mess right now so bear with me.
You'll have to step around random thoughts and quirky bunny trails. There are a
bunch of imperfect thoughts and really unbecoming pictures. I am not into being
the perfect bride. So without further ado, fasten your seat belts and get ready
for this adventure!
So here is a dirty topic...
Birth control.
Why do I feel like a slut because I am on birth control?
Most people are gonna be mad that I used that word but honestly, that is how I feel.
I feel like a slut.
A virgin slut.
A virgin slut that is only on the stupid pill cause she is getting married.
What a coincidence.
I hated birth control when I first started it.
I went psycho crazy lady...
And honestly, I am surprised that Cody still loved me.
From my crying every single freaking day, to picking fights about nothing at all, to being so emotionally unstable that all it took was one thing to set me over the edge.
But now, I love it!!
I know when my cycle is coming, I don't feel as terrible when it does come, and now my emotions are on more stable ground.
I feel like Chiarra again! Finally!
But last night when I went to pick it up, I didn't like it at all.
You know what the guy said when he gave it to me?
Okay, looks like you are all set for tonight.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, JERK??
He PROBABLY didn't mean it like that...but, it didn't change how that made me feel.
Oh so you mean I am all set to sleep around tonight?
Dude, ring. On finger. Duh.
It wasn't what he said at all, it was just that I feel like that.
Like birth control is this nasty horrible thing.
And it isn't.
Why do we not talk about birth control at church?
Why is it such a taboo topic?
So pretty much this post is all about telling everything that I am on birth control to break that unseen barrier that I feel I am under.
And for some reason I feel like giggling.
There is a picture on my desk of Cody in uniform with his military stoic face and it makes me want to giggle.
I feel like he is sitting somewhere rolling his eyes at me for being so silly and caring about something so stupid.
And I also want to giggle thinking about making faces at him trying to get him to smile while taking that picture...
Anyways, random bunny trail there....
Thanks for letting me be honest!
Love, Almost A Bride
Your thoughts on taking birth control seem to come from a religious position that sees sex outside of marriage as a shameful thing to be avoided. Birth control and sex are totally normal things and should not be stigmatized. What you are doing is totally normal and rational. You are getting married and want to have some reproductive choice. Your seeming shame at taking them is not right and comes from being most likely being taught your whole life that sex is a dirty thing, or at least is shameful outside of the perfect place of marriage. That message can be damaging and make it hard to see sex as what it really is, not a magical thing but something that people do, like kissing, hugging, running and eating.
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