It took all self-control I had in my body to not comment back and tell her that she didn't deserve a man in the military. You want a man because of the name he gives you and the pictures that you will take together?? That is really messed up and it makes me infuriated.
Because military relationships are hard as hell on earth. They are not flowers and butterflies and sweet love letters. Most people don't truly know what it is like to be in a military relationship so let me open up the curtain a bit...
My relationship is a text at 4am saying, "Hey babe, I am off to work, love you *kiss kiss*". (Yes, he is so adorable that I get a good morning kiss even from miles away!) It is a text at 2pm, "Hey I am back now!" To which I may or may not get around to replying to for a few hours because at this point, I am in the middle of my work day. Then it is a call on my way home from work to talk about our day in between me screaming at the stupid people who can't drive. If I am lucky, I have nothing planned that night so that we can talk for about an hour or so before he falls asleep. Then once he is asleep, I stay on the phone while I do whatever I need to get done that night because when I go to fall asleep, I love being able to hear him breathe.
We talk about how much we wish we were wherever the other one is, what we would do if we could see each other. We talk about how many days we have left until I visit and how we want it to be today. We talk about everything...from my work to his roommates, from how stupid psychology homework is to the DMV in Connecticut. Sometimes we talk for an hour, sometimes he is too tired and we make it only 15 minutes. Weekends are my favorite because we talk for more than two hours sometimes!
Communication is all we have. It is all we get. I don't get date nights and cute plans on the weekends. I don't get to post a picture on Instagram about "going to dinner with my honey". I can't hold his hand whenever some creep is staring at me. I can't stay out till curfew watching movies and having tickle fights. I don't get all the cute relationship things that most couples get and strive on. I don't get kissed every week, I don't even get a hug when I am sad and crying.
So no, you do not want a military relationship because his uniform will match your wedding colors. No you do not want cute engagement pictures. And if having a man in uniform is the only way for you to get someone to respect your relationship, you need to take a hard look at your character. Because chica, he can do better than you. (For anyone asking I do not personally know this girl so it is nothing against anyone who would read this!)
What keeps me in this relationship is not the fact that my man looks sexy in dress blues (even though he definitely does!). What keeps me here is not the fact that when he is around we have cute pictures together. What keeps me here is not the "respect" that I get from being with a military man.
What keeps me in this relationship is the fact that we know each other inside and out. It is the fact that he loves me so deeply and profoundly that I can't even comprehend it. What keeps me here is that even when he is angry with me, he never yells at me and he is still loving when I am being stupid and rude. What keeps me here is the fact that he asks me to rely on him, that I am never a bother to him, that he will listen to me with his whole heart. What keeps me here is I am his escape and where he goes when he has problems too.
What keeps me here is the fact that I love him from the tip of my toes to the top of my head. What keeps me here is that for once I feel safe giving someone what is inside my heart. What keeps me here is having someone that I could see spending the rest of my life with. What keeps me here is that we communicate like none other, that every issue and problem is dealt with to the very last little detail. It is the fact that I am not pushing my pain and anger and frustration down anymore, I am learning to talk about things right away (with the loving help and coaxing from Cody). What keeps me here is the fact that when my friends are not being treated with the utmost love and care, I can say, "You deserve better and it is out there. I know this because Cody does _______ and ________ for me." I can use my own life as a positive example of what it means to be loved and cared for in the deepest way.
I stay because I love him more than anything. And he adores me with every fiber of his being.Uniform or not, my man is wonderful.
So it is not the uniform that you date a man for. It is the man in the uniform that you date.
So there you have it! My late night rants about stupid girls and my wonderful man.
Love, Kiki
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