Why war scares me...

God has jokes.
I told him, no military men, ever. I never will date or marry a military man. I felt as a kid that I had lost my uncle when the war started. I remember one day in kids church I burst into tears because I was scared he was going to die. God and I made a pact right then and there I would never be with someone in the military. Or so I thought God made a pact with me...
Apparently God had a bigger plan.

I am about to marry a man who is in the Navy. Would I change that for anything in the world? No. Never.

But why did I tell God no to begin with?

It's simple.

War.

War is why I said no. War is frightening and terrifying. War means danger and being afraid. War means fear. And fear means worry and crying and tears.

And lots of what if's.

What if Cody dies? Or gets hurt? Or comes back with PTSD?
What if war takes him from me?
What if I lose him?
What will I do then?

How will I survive if war takes him from me?

War puts his fate in the hands of terrorists.

Or so I thought. But in all truth, his fate is in the hands of God.

God has war in His hands. God has a plan even in the pain and fear of losing the man I love so dearly.

I don't want war. I hate war.

But God can keep him safe. God can keep us both safe.

I need to trust God. I need to let it go to His hands. I need His love and peace.